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October 8th, 2005
01:17 pm - In loving memory of Marianne
My aunt snail mailed me this picture and it made me so sad. It's the last picture of my big sister Marianne and I together. Next month would've been her 24th birthday. It was taken a few months before she was killed. We were at my cousin's house in Butler NJ on vacation. She decided to stay and live there instead of coming back home with me. We had a nasty fight before I left. That was the last time I saw here alive. She was killed a few month later. I regret that we fought so much and didn't get to bond before she died. I wonder had we not fought maybe she would have come back with me and still be alive today?
I'm sad today.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) sad
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September 8th, 2005
04:19 am - An open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush...
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane
Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be
airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military
choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a
Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could
really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do
like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to
begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of
Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then
but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there
were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this
storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody
tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I
know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to
go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure
showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying
to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business
peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the
hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in
the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how
you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New
Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them
that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there
weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you
had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING
DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I
was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the
clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look
of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn
and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been
there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try
to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out.
Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this
would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting
hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them
and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing
unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having
one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30
percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had
no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean,
it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving
white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race
has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army
helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans
and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@...
www.MichaelMoore.com
P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch.
She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now
driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way.
Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September
21st.
//I just thought this needed to be reposted... I do not think that the government is doing all that it can do to help the people in New Orleans and the survivors of Hurrican Katrina and it is sad... :o(
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/angry.gif) pissed off
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August 27th, 2005
06:50 pm - Worried sick
Oh my god I'm so sick with worry that I threw up.
I haven't heard from Andrew, Justin or Zach since before the hurricane.
Sarah told me 3 people in Cooper City died.
Please god let them be alright.
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Ave Maria
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August 23rd, 2005
09:15 pm - Fear, happiness, headaches
dear journal,
sorry to bother you again.
((hehe))
throbbing of heart in ears unusual sensation?
I should say strange. its not particularly unusual in that it doesn't occur hardly ever (shut up that is so proper grammer =p) its just weird, cause it can be associated with so many emotional things.
here are some: fear, happiness, headaches (not exactly emotional, so I shud say stress), fatigue, arousal, anger, hate, love?
anymore?
hmm. so I worked today, had an interesting experience all frikkin five hours of it. I dunno, its like I was upset over something (no, not "something" just something was upsetting me and I couldn't pin down what it was) and as a result I was miffed. but it wasn't a bad kind of miffed, cause I was happy and self-satisfied. I think it was the pigtails. I wore my hair in pigtails, I think that they make me feel happy even when im not. correction. they make me act happy even when im not, and I am, in fact, say, miffed.
miffed is another expression ive been using a lot lately. I think its because it expresses exactly what it is im feeling most of the time. I'm miffed at the lack of intellectual stimulation, im miffed at specific people (not "people," just specific people), im miffed at having to censor myself all the damn time, im miffed with my parents, I get miffed when people ask me when im going to married. assuming that's what I want, I get miffed when socialite parents tell their kids to be like me, what up wit day neway, since when did socialites admire me, and most of all I get miffed WHEN NO ONE UPDATES THEIR RESPECTIVE JOURNALS. *ahem*
I don't feel like a longass entry now so this is all? ciao.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) high
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August 15th, 2005
August 7th, 2005
11:53 pm - A Thousand Miles
Dave,
I like you.
I like talking with you, I like our jokes, I like how you can call me up and ask me what I had for dinner. I like that you write notes that confuse my dad. I like that you hack. I like everytime I see a hacky sack I think of you. I like that you're freakishly tall. I like that you're a tree. I like that you're a lost child. I like doritoes. I like that you can play drums, piano and some acoustic guitar. I like that you have a car. I like that you use that car to come see me. I like that I made you ditch your girlfriend to see me. I like that we can just hang. I like that you don't mind coming to see me. I like that you came back a couple times to see if i was home yet. I like that you're still trying to get me to be the one to break in your new penis. I like your smile. I like your eyebrows being a different color than your hair. I like that you work on a farm. I like how you just kinda sit by me and we don't have anything to say and it's cool. I like how we just lay on my bed, talking, watching tv. I like how you say you're scared of me. I like how you'll try anything. I like how you're not homophobic. I like how you look in bandannas. I like how we fit together. I like what we have. I like how we can say anything.
i hate that im too scared to say anything. too respectful....too retarded.
I hate that i'm leaving
I hate that i dunno what you think
i hate that i won't ask
i hate that i have no claim to you
i hate that we didn't see eachother tonight
i hate that everyone will write this off and not realize i've never felt this way for someone.
i hate that i feel this way
i hate that it tears me up inside.
i hate that I can write anything in my diary, but I can't seem to write it to you.
je suis patetique je veux un garcon qui je ne peux pas avoir j'al perdu mon coeur je voudrais avoir reurouner a moi une mille levres ne parle pas le desparie de moi
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carleton
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July 26th, 2005
07:09 pm - because I haven't posted, so I'll just answer pointless questions
Appearance
Hair: brown with summer highlights now, long but not long enough
Eyes: green grey and weak (glasses girl!)
Height: 5'10&1/2. Don't say it. I know I'm tall. :-(
Right Now
Wearing: bra(finally found it!), panties(if I don't say them, SOMEONE will ask if I'm wearing them), tank, shirt, skirt
Music: old elton john
Thinking of: the book i'm gonna go read it's like brushes with God or something...water...i dunno. I read them, not memorize them
Feeling: Tired.I just ate. A lot. We were in the resteraunt for dad's birthday and I got like this platter.....i guess I feel chatty too...
Songs that describe you: I like avril lavigne's today. katie said that complicated makes her think of me. My song? "only Hope" sung by mandy moore from Walk to rememeber
Either/Or
Pierce your nose or tongue? I'd have to get my nose, though I'd not want it, since I'd already got my tongue!
Be serious or be funny? be ABLE tobe serious
Bikinis or briefs? bikinis...all the way.
Whole or skim milk? skim....I gotta start up with the calcium again....
Single or Taken? Taken!!
Simple or complicated? I'm simple in my complicated way of thinking.
Law or anarchy? order
Flowers or angels? God would never make us choose
Grey or gray? I'm american. gray.
Read or write? Read.
Color or black-and-white photos? depends on the pic, I have a b&w of a rose I took and it's soo much better for it.
Sunrise or sunset? if I'm ever awake for sunrise, photograph it. It'll never happen again.
M&M's or Skittles? skittles baybe.
Rap or rock? I love rock n roll put another dime in the juke box baby
Stay up late or wake up late? don't they do hand in hand?
TV or Radio? radio. i hate tv.....lately.
Is it POP or SODA? POP! DOI! cor...I mean, it's a regional thing. BUT IT"S SO POP!
X or O in Tic-tac-toe? X. I don't play tic tac toe
Eat an apple or an orange? ew. cherries for me.
What came first the chicken or the egg? God.
Hot or cold? Cold
Tall members of the opposite sex or short? I'm superficial. I need them tall as or taller than me. I do. It's from watching the movies from the 40s.
Sun or moon? I try to tan in the sun but it's awesome that I glow in the moonlight
Emerald or ruby? don't care about stones
Left or right? if I could figure that out my dad would stop annoying me
10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 10. I'd hate to only talk to one person and not go to anyone else. then that person would get sick of me, or me of that person and i'd be left with no one.
Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? soft vanilla so I can trace things with my tongue ring.
Green beans or carrots? broccoli and dip
What is your biggest fear in the world? Getting stuck in a boring job? I dunno. Right now I have no fear. I hate faith and trust. It rocks.
Kids or no kids? No kids for me. I have a fear of babies and pregenet women. Three year olds I can handle, any younger, i get perturbed.
Cat or dog? i want a rottweiler, but I have a satan...er, cat.
Half-empty or half-full? ::drinks glass:: what?
Mustard or ketchup? mustard and relish, the forgotten condiment
Hard cover books or soft cover books? I'd really love books on scroll so you can just get to where you are and leave it and not worry about the thing closing and losing your spot.
Newspaper or magazine? Guideposts for Teens
Sandals or sneakers? shoes are evil ands hould be anihilated. except for stilettos of course.
Wonder or amazement? ok, hi, homynym much?
Red car or white car? blue
Happy and poor or sad and rich? I'd hate to be poor. Like, poor poor. There's now way I could be happy and poor. I'm good at sad. I'll take sad and rich. I could buy movies to distract me.
Singing or dancing? both
Corduroy or plaid? plaid corderoys? naw, plaid.
Happy or sad? wutafuh?
Purple or green? barney is a dinosaur from our imagination
Club or House Party? there ain't no party like a backstreet party cuz a backstreet party don't stop....or something not about boybands....
Tea or Coffee? chai or spiced apple tea or fraps from starbucks!
Pen or Pencil? computer
Gloves or Mittens? Gloves.
Food or Candy? Food...i hate sugar (right now)
Cassette or CD?whatever my car plays (when I get one)
Snuff or Cigarettes? cigs
Coke or Pepsi? eh
Matches or a Lighter? Lighter. I just need to go get it filled
Last time/thing I
Bought? I bought a book for sarah "kiss my tiara"
Did? Birthday lunch/dinner for Dad
Read? I finished "Kiss my tiara" but I'm on that river...water....something book.
Watched on tv? vh1 strip search.....but then I put in a movie b/c tv sucks.
Saw on the big screen? MR & MRS SMITH - today. I liked it. At one part i literally almost passed out. My heart was weak from the drugs....couldn't really take it.
Had to drink? grenadine with coke. YUCK
Ate? shrimp, steak, potato, garbanzo beans
Showered? technically this morning.
Cried? while watching 4 days ago
Smiled? at ruby tuesdays. Daddy needed to see what one was.
Laughed? I can't remember, I'm tired. prob the last time i saw justin.
Hugged? daddy
Kissed? daddy
Said? "besides your away message is up"
Talked to online? um...
Talked to on the phone? Zach?
Smelled? our dinners were AWESOME smelling together.
Who do you want to
Kill? You don't kill. you just...don't.
Hear from? anyone I guess. zach. ::flicks herself in the forhead for that one:: or maybe dave. I saw him today.
Look like?me with a diff nose
Understand? whomever wants to share with me
Kiss? Lindsay....i miss her.
Cuddle? define cuddle?
Meet? Brad. so he can fall desperately in love with me and we stay in love until we die. He'll surf, I'll hula, it'll be great.
Do you
Smoke? yes
Do drugs? yeah...I'm trying to stop.....
Drink? Not purposefully or alone or anything. Just a cup of oj and vodka at parties lol...that was a shitty morrning. I never want to see vodka again.
Sleep with stuffed animals? My stitch doll! (fluffy toy)
Have a crush? yeah
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yes
Have a dream that keeps coming back? No, i think just someone in it. Like last night was a warning dream. I hated it. And someone was coming for me....there was government agents involved...and killing?
Play an instrument? not like fluently but I can play piano guitar drums and tambourine. I ROCK on tambourine. lol
Believe there is life on other planets? sure why not
Read the newspaper? yeah comics page!
Have any gay or lesbian friends? yup
Believe in miracles? how can anyone not?
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? well sure....you didn't say ME though did you? lol in other words NO.
Consider yourself tolerant of others? yes
Consider police a friend or foe? I don't really consider them. they're just kinda there. no. i thought about it and they're FOES.
Like the taste of alcohol? well not beer I can tell ya that.
Have a favorite Stooge? um...curly. sure...why not.
Believe in astrology? yeah. God made the stars. So if you can read his plans in the stars, more power to ya.
Believe in magic? Hello! David Copperfield!
Pray? All the time
Go to church? when I want to
Have any secrets? are there people who don't?
Have any pets? My cat satan
Go to or plan to go to college? Eventually
Have a degree? Not one on paper. lol
Wear hats? hats are great!
Have any piercings? ears, ear cartilidge, belly button, tongue
Have any tattoos? Not yet
Hate yourself? no...I'm great. the problem is everyone else. ;-)
Have a "hot spot"? Yes. Jamaica is quite hot. A hot spot to go to is Denny's on thursdays! YEAH BRANDY M!!!!
Wish on stars? No.....when did that stop.....?
Like your handwriting? sure
Believe in witches? yeah, not hollywood witches, but witch witches.
Believe in Satan? my cat is right there, how can i not believe in her?
Believe in ghosts? not ghosts per se, but non-skin people, yeah.
Trust others easily? HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahAHAaha
Like sarcasm? Sometimes. I do it well, but it can be mean, most def at the wrong time.
Take walks in the rain? Not walks. I dance in the rain
Kiss with your eyes closed? closed means you mean it. I have kissed open eyed before.
Sing in the shower? no I have a radio.
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: "hold me closer tiny dancer"
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July 22nd, 2005
10:19 am - I am woman
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/wink.gif) mischievous
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01:11 am - Thanks for the add Andy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I thought about Sam telling me to do things. To really be there. And I just thought how great it is to have friends and a family.
I was crying because I was suddenly very aware of the fact that it was me standing in the tunnel with the wind over my face. Not caring if I saw downtown. Not eventhinking about it. Because I was standing in the tunnel. And I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite.
I'm not sure if I will have the time to write any more letters because I might be too busy trying to participate.
So if this does end up being my last letter, please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough.
And I will believe the same about you.
~ the perks of being a wallflower
Current Mood: pissed off
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July 12th, 2005
07:47 pm - it was so deliciously random.....
I was reading (The perks of being a wallflower-i LOVE it) outside for....2 hours and almost the whole time these (non-interesting 15-16 yr old) boys were sitting in their car watching me.
They could have been waiting for the little kid who lives next door. But for two hours?
Little boys can be so amusing. But Kalista prefers men that are old enough to buy her a drink. ;)
Current Mood: flirty
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July 10th, 2005
09:06 pm - standards
I am ashamed of the people I surround myself with
I am ashamed of my lack of strength when I know I fall on behaviors
I am ashamed of my inability to do whats best for me
I am ashamed of my past and all the allowances people take from it
I will not apologise
I will not bend
I am beyond fantastic
I am kindness and ability
I attempt understanding
I accept my shortcomings
I strive
I am pleasing to myself
and I am only 19.
I'm going to be amazing, world renowned or no.
I know what I need and now I am going to get it.
I am unfuckingstoppable
Current Mood: discontent
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July 2nd, 2005
07:01 pm - because it has to be said
My dear (insert name of my friend here),
I'd rather been seen as a slut than have a long term relationship with someone who hurts me.
You need to dump him!
That's all I wanted to say.
Current Mood: angry
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June 25th, 2005
02:04 pm - hmm???
Straight Preference
You scored 25 (-52 being completely gay, 0 being bisexual, and 52 being completely straight) |
| You are not exclusively heterosexual, but you prefer the opposite sex over the same sex. While you might be willing to fool around with the same sex to some extent, you would go all the way with the opposite sex. If you are sexually inexperienced, it is possible that this could change after you do some experimenting. |
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My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 52% on Orientation |
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Current Mood: amused
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June 11th, 2005
10:40 pm - I'm moving
I'm moving to Fort Myers to take care of my dad.
So goodbye Nova and hello Edison.
I've given 2 weeks notice at work.
But I haven't told Zach yet.
I think I will tonight.
Wish me luck.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/shock.gif) nervous
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June 1st, 2005
01:05 am - Memorial Weekend
Friday Sarah and I drove up to Fort Myers to be with dad. He's not doing well and was in the hospital. Saturday he was released and the 3 of us spent the weekend together. Dave came by on Sunday and cleaned out dad's garage and mowed his lawn. He's such a good guy and dad likes him.
Monday we were on our way home, I was driving Sarah's car in the rain, tired stressed. I got in line for the toll booth, took the foot off my gas and was slowly rolling with the car in front of me, I look down to get the money, the car in front of me stops and I run into them. Their car is fine, I wish I could say the same for Sarah's. Smashed in grill, dented hood, and I'm scared of driving now. Mom and Sarah want to kill me, it sucks.
Speaking of mom killing me, my mom decided to just wake up and yell at me to get off. I can't wait till I get my lap top!!!!!!! Good night
Current Mood: stressed
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May 17th, 2005
09:29 pm - For Justin ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) crypticsoul30 NOT Timberlake
I'm here if you need me.
love always
Kalista
Current Mood: worried
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May 15th, 2005
02:39 pm - Move on in four, or pay more! This is so fucked up!
Jeb Bush (the good ol brother of the George) passed legislation that will make it mandatory for students entering college to pick a major or see their tuition rates go straight up. This is so fucked up! How many teenagers know what they want to do straight out of high school? I had no clue. I've been out a year now and still don't. This is CRAZY! It just doesn't make any sense. And this might also cause more people NOT to go to school.
Here is the article
http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/news/11624265.htm
Current Mood: pissed off
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April 19th, 2005
07:46 pm - I'm a bitch and proud of it!
When I stand up for myself, and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means:
I won't compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated, and determined.
By God, I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B= Beautiful
I= Intelligent
T= Talented
C= Charming
H= Hell of a woman
Send this to all the Bitches you know...or anyone you feel should become a bitch!
From the Sisterhood of Bitchdom!!
May we all get what we want, when we want it, because we all sure as hell deserve it!!!
Current Mood: pleased
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April 13th, 2005
10:22 pm - Stolen from crypticsoul30
I thought this was so cute so I had to steal it.
Current Mood: giddy
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February 28th, 2005
01:39 am - Mom's sordid secrets
I was watching Blow with my mother tonight.
It played out like this:
::Scene of Columbians making cocaine::
Mom: Oh my GOD! I can't believe I put that stuff up my nose!!
er....I mean...thank God I never did any of that kind of stuff...
I love when my mom gets drunk and tells me all her sordid secrets.
Current Mood: Hot Librarian-ish
Current Music: snorts and sniffs....gulps and burps.
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